All I Really Want...

Every day I wonder if people like me, does any ever notice me? Does anyone think that I’m lower then scum and that I shouldn’t even exist?

It feels as if I should have never been born, as if my existence was a mistake. There are those who love me and those who hate me for even just being alive.

I’m kind, I’m patient, and polite. I don’t hurt others, I try to help, and I always try to be good. I don’t argue and I give up the things I want. But, no even says a word to me.

No one ever really thinks about me. I’m always the one that’s never noticed, even when I’m with everyone.

I’m always alone, I have no one but myself in the end.

Does anyone see me, does anyone hear me? I’m always alone in inside, because no one will ever notice me.

No one will ever hear me in the cacophony voices before me, even if I scream!

I’m the one who’s always hurt, I always smile a fake smile.

I’m never really happy, I always seem to lie to others and myself.

I want someone to hear me and see me, I don’t want to be forgotten.

I want someone to hold me close and stay with me forever until die. I don’t want be alone anymore even if I’m the pushing everyone away.

Isn’t there someone who will understand me, my true self.

I no longer want to be in the darkness or even in the twilight.

I want to be free, I want to be happy, and be in the light.

All I really want to know is that I’m alive.

Oh Great Wolf

Oh great wolf, who’s howls ring throughout the night.
As I walk beside the forest, underneath the silver moon.
Please watch over me as I walk beside you.
I hear your cries in the night, calling out to the moon.
Underneath the dancing lights, in the white-cold snow.
Oh great wolf who’s howls I hear.
Please watch over me, as I walk beside you.
Underneath the moon as the lights dance in the night sky.
In the world this white-cold world, I will listen to your cries.

My Own Story! -Lyrics

"I no longer want to be the person I was yesterday," says a voice in my head that never stops like that music note. Is it because, (I see?) People that had their, (own dreams come true?) I wish I could go that sky. Yet is it because I'm behind, that I've learned so much and how harsh the world can be, that I've found my precious treasure. But part of me, (part of me.) Wants to disappear, (disappear.) From this world I call a paradise of light and shadow. Yet as I hear, a cacophony of voices before me, I realize that I want to be, seen and heard.

I'll keep going, keep going. And become stronger then I am today, so someday I'm not just "some person." That day when I had to say goodbye, it made want to follow my heart even more. So someday that person can be proud of me as she watches me. Tomorrow, tomorrow. I may be laughed at but I don't care so long as I can be happy living. Because I want to leave my, footprints as my own track as my story!

As I looked into the mirror, I saw you crying I reached out to you, then all I saw were ripples in the mirror. I looked away (looked away) maybe because (because) I'm a coward at heart. Yet the "me" I see, inside my heart, is hard to understand, yet that "me" I see. Maybe laughed at for being a girl, that only wants to be loved, but yet I want to be, that very person! I'll keep going, keep going. And become stronger then I am today so someday I'm not just "some person." I want hear it the melody, of my heart sing out, and echo out into world and the endless starry sky. Part of me maybe a coward, but I yet I want my dream, to become real right before my eyes. Because I want to leave my, footprints as my own track as my story.

That little girl who never what true happiness and sorrow was started to cry. That day when I had to say goodbye, that "other me" will never smile again. Those memories echo in my heart, but helped me find the path I wanted to take. As I look into the night sky I reach and start running. Trying to catch the star that I long for I try to be strong. But as I keep running, I realize that the "me" I see inside is hiding because I'm hiding my true feelings.

I'll keep going, keep going. And become stronger then I am today so someday I'm not just "some person." I reach out and hold you tight saying that it’s okay to cry. Because I'm crying too, this world may not be perfect, but... I start running, yelling out to "you!" "That all you need do is love because that's the one thing you need to live!" Because I want to leave my, footprints as my own track as my story!

I'll keep going, keep going. And become stronger then I am today, and reach the stars someday! I want to become the "me" that is inside my heart, then the one that other's see! I see you the "other me" as I run past towards that star filled sky I once saw! I want to leave my footprints as my own track as my story! I want to you know that, I'm alive as I leave my own track!

Footprints

As I walk on this earth I leave my footprints behind, I leave them as a memory for those to follow and when they end I’m afraid it’s time to say goodbye. The footprints I see sometimes overlap each other, some are new, some are old, some are deep, and some are side by side. My feet may hurt but I still leave my footprints behind so someday they can be my memory for those to follow.