Sunday, November 4, 2018

I Will Not Fall

“How many mistakes have I made?”
“And just how many more will make?”
“Will I ever make up for them?”
Once everything was alright,
I was safe and happy.
Living within my world of childhood innocence.
Before you left, everything was alright.
After so long my heart still clung to that fairy tale,
That innocent dream.
As the thorns cut my skin,
As the shadows closed in.
I kept going,
I kept fighting.
Even as my mind and heart,
Started to break apart.
I know you didn’t want this life for me,
Neither did I wish for such a life.
Yet I am here,
And I’ll fight to be.
How many mistakes have I made?
And just how many more will make?
Will I ever make up for them?
Have I been living a lie?
Once everything was alright,
I was safe and happy.
Living within my world of childhood innocence.
Before you left, everything was alright.
After so long my heart still clung to that fairy tale,
That innocent dream.
The dream I still long for.
As the thorns cut my skin,
As the shadows close in.
I’ll still fight.
Even though my mind and heart are broken.
Those fairy tales who once told me,
Filled me with hope, with dreams of innocence.
Was I wrong to do so?
Was it wrong to even dream, to hope?
I still question myself.
I still ask why.
Yet I forgot why.
I know you never wanted this life for me.
I know you tried to keep me safe.
You told me everything would be alright.
How many mistakes have I made?
And just how many more will make?
Will I ever make up for them?
Will we ever make up for them?
Once everything was alright,
I was safe and happy.
Living within my world of childhood innocence.
Before you left, everything was alright.
After so long my heart still clings to that fairy tale,
That innocent dream.
Even as the thorns cut my skin,
Even as the shadows close in.
I’ll keep going.
I’ll keep fighting.
Even as my mind and heart,
Continue to break.
I will not fall,
I will live;

Thursday, November 1, 2018

A World I Can Never-

“Who am I?”
Just how many times now have I asked that question.
How many times have I questioned myself,
The world around me?
Everything is almost like a dream,
A place that I can only be seen within a box made of glass and plastic.
How long has it been since I woke up from my childhood world?
For how long was I blind to the world and its cruel reality?
Inside me, in my shadow.
I feel another self that wishes to drown me in despair and hate.
To destroy my already fragile glass body,
To take away my light.
For how long has it been since I was truly innocent?
But was I ever?
After so long now of pretending to be strong, to be happy,
I can barely cry a single tear.
Is this heart of mine now growing cold?
Is my light beginning to die?
“Who am I?”
Just how many times now have I asked that question.
How many times have I questioned myself,
The world around me?
I’ve never had a path, a destination to reach.
And still I can’t answer that question.
How I see the world,
How it all appears almost like another world.
I know I’m different, that I’m not normal.
I know I don’t belong most anywhere.
For I’m not what people want me to be.
I’m not what I wanted to be.
I’m not-
Every part of me is screaming.
I feel as if I’m slowly falling apart,
And drowning within myself.
Its no one’s fault,
There’s no reason for why.
When it started I don’t know,
I don’t have an answer even for myself.
All I know is that I am broken and incomplete.
A being made of glass and dreams.
“Who am I?”
The question repeats like a broken record within my mind.
As everything around me builds and breaks my fragile being.
To escape I lose myself in fairy tales and stories of a fantasy.
Now it all seems to blend together.
The black and white become grey.
My light and darkness become twilight.
I feel as if I’m losing myself.
To what I’ve never known.
To reality?
To dreams?
“Who am I?”
Just how many times now have I asked that question.
How many times have I questioned myself,
The world around me?
Everything is almost like a dream,
A place that I can only be seen within a box made of glass and plastic.
A world I can never reach.
A world I can never-


Note: If anyone is wondering I'm doing just fine, it just feels good to write at times because its a good way to I guess to get out some things. Again I'm fine, just tried honestly mostly because of second Oct job at a haunted corn maze tends to drain my energy. So well hope ya all had a wonderful Halloween/day

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Close Your Eyes and Dream

“Close your eyes,”
“Close your eyes and dream.”
“Dream of days bathed in sunlight.”
“The earth covered in gentle green.”
“Close your eyes,”
“And wake up.”
From ash stand the remains of the past,
Grey and lifeless, barren and nearly endless,
Scare the once fertile green and blue.
Memories of yesterday will not be easily forgotten.
Yet the earth lets go and returns all that once was to dust.
“Close your eyes.”
“For the dream is near reality.”
“The mechanical cold dream.”
“The world’s lie.”
Fire and ash turn to dust,
And from dust, the earth begins anew.
“Close your eyes,”
“Close your eyes and dream.”
“Dream of days bathed in sunlight.”
“The earth covered in gentle green.”
“Close your eyes,”
“And wake up.”
“Wake up and see what can be.”
The past remains in ruins,
The past remains a scar.
The earth lets go the past,
Yet the ones who remain cannot.
For that scar, still remains.
Will time repeat the past?
Will all that remains fall apart?
“Close your eyes,”
“Close your eyes and let go.”
“Let go the past.”
From ash stand the remains of the past,
Grey and lifeless, barren and nearly endless,
Scare the once fertile green and blue.
Memories of yesterday will not be easily forgotten.
Yet the earth lets go and returns all that once was to dust.
“Close your eyes,”
“Close your eyes and dream.”
“Dream of better days,”
“Of what could be.”
“Goodnight to yesterday,”
“Farewell to the past.”
“Close your eyes,”
“Close your eyes and wake up.”
“Wake up and see tomorrow;”

This poem was inspired by this awesome bit of music, hope you enjoy it!
https://youtu.be/hrJkaYDAKW0

Monday, August 27, 2018

I Vow to You

“I vow, to you,”
“That I’ll believe, put hope into your dream.”
“Even if my heart becomes broken and frayed.”
“I will protect all that we still have,”
“All that is still ours.”
“I shall end the curse that was placed upon the world/us.”
“I will return innocence and dreams,”
“I shall fight for it all,”
“For tomorrow.”
Do you remember those days?
Those moments in the sun,
In a world of our own imagination.
As heroes of our story,
There was nothing we couldn’t do.
Yet that old magic, that innocence wouldn’t remain forever.
Close your tired eyes,
For today will be the last day.
When our dreams are our reality.
When we are the heroes of our stories.
“I’m sorry.”
I made a mistake, I was a fool.
Because I lost hope in the old magic.
In the dreams that brought that hope to light.
Please forgive me, for I was the one,
Who took away our days of innocence.
I promised to keep and protect that dream,
Yet I failed.
Do you remember those days?
Those moments beneath the stars,
Dreaming of our world made from imagination,
Our hearts.
The hope that tomorrow would be better than before.
Close your tired eyes,
For today will be the last day.
When our dreams are our reality.
When we are the heroes of our stories.
When our hope is still here.
“I’m sorry.”
I made a mistake, I was a fool.
Because I lost hope in the old magic.
In the dreams that brought that hope to light.
Please forgive me, for I was the one,
Who took away our days of innocence.
I promised to keep and protect that dream,
Yet I failed.
So now I vow to you,
That I will never give up.
That I will still believe,
Still hope.
Do you remember those days?
Those moments in the sun,
Beneath the stars.
In a world of made of our own imagination.
Our hearts.
Always dreaming of our world,
The hope that tomorrow would be better than before.
As heroes of our story,
There was nothing we couldn’t do.
Yet that old magic, that innocence wouldn’t remain forever.
So, close your tired eyes.
For today shall be last day,
Of sadness and pain.
For tomorrow we shall be,
Once again the heroes of our story.
For our hope is still here.
And forever more it shall.
“I vow, to you.”
“That I will still hope.”
“I will still live;”

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Chapter One: Fate's Design

“Never ending is life’s story.”
“Every chapter a beginning and end.”
“By fate’s design, the stars forever weave a story.”
“As they watch the world below.”
“As they record life’s story, forever more.”
How long have I wandered alone?
Through endless fields of green,
Over mountains of white,
From forest old, to oceans of blue.
I continue to search,
For what I have long forgotten.
Yet still the wind calls me,
To follow the star’s guiding light.
To follow my heart’s wish.
And let go the past that binds me to sorrow.
Wandering, searching,
For what reason, I have forgotten.
Yet words of the past,
Keep repeating within my mind.
As a reminder, a guide,
To leave the past behind.
How long have I wandered alone?
Through endless fields of green,
Over mountains of white,
From forest old, to oceans of blue.
I continue to search,
For what I lost.
Yet still the wind calls me,
To follow the star’s guiding light.
To follow my heart’s wish.
I take sword in hand,
As the monsters of life’s end draw near.
Quick is the blade of silver,
Bathed in flame that burns away the past,
To give life to the future.
How long have I wandered alone?
When did this journey start?
Will it now end?
Fallen are the monsters,
That haunted me.
Yet so to I will be.
A voice calls me,
From the abyss of sleep
From death’s grip.
How long have I wandered alone?
Through endless fields of green,
Over mountains of white,
From forest old, to oceans of blue.
I continue to search,
For what I have long forgotten.
For what I once lost.
Yet have I now found,
My heart’s wish?
Will I no longer be alone?

To be Continued…

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Some of these things perfectly describe me when I'm not happy, its both cool and scary.

Prayer/"Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme."

“Oh stars, please listen to this prayer, this wish of mine.”
“I shall give all I am, my life, in return for this wish.”
“To be able to protect all those I love, now and forever more.”
“Oh stars I beg of you to grant this wish, this payer of mine.”
An oath, a promise I swore to keep.
With sword and shield to protect all.
To guard the weak and to fight till last breath.
To be by the side of the one I love,
Now and forever more.
With wings of light, I dance with sword in hand.
Upon a field of green scared red with fire and blood.
If I shall not return, please forgive me.
For not coming home, for not being by your side.
Fairy wings, dance in starlight.
Within a field of parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
Beneath the Yew, intertwined are the Forget-me-nots.
As the stars shine within the evening light.
With sword in hand, I fight to protect all I have.
Upon these wings of light,
I will return home.
If these wings can no longer reach you,
If I shall not return.
I ask that you forgive me.
For not being able to keep my promise.
We swore an oath, a promise.
To be by each other’s side,
Now and forever more.
Till all ends and the stars no longer shine.
With that oath came euphoria,
A happiness like no other.
With each day, my love for you,
Became never ending.
Oh stars, please listen to this prayer, this wish of mine.
I shall give all I am, my life, in return for this wish.
To be able to protect all those I love now and forever more.
Oh stars I beg of you to grant this wish, this payer of mine.
“For the ones I love, for my dearest one.”
With wings of light, I dance with sword in hand.
“Fairy wings, dance in starlight.”
Upon a field of green scared red with fire and blood.
“Within a field of parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.”
If I shall not return, please forgive me.
“Beneath the Yew, intertwined are the Forget-me-nots.”
For not coming home, for not being by your side.
“As the stars shine within the evening light.”
An oath, a promise I swore to keep.
“We swore an oath, a promise.”
With sword and shield to protect all.
“To be by each other’s side,”
To guard the weak and to fight till last breath.
“Now and forever more.”
To be by the side of the one I love,
“Till all ends and the stars no longer shine.”
Now and forever more.
“With that oath came euphoria,”
“A happiness like no other.”
“With each day, my love for you,”
“Became never ending.”
“Even in death, I will always love you.”
“Oh stars, please listen to this prayer, this wish of mine.”
“If my wings can no longer return me home.”
“If I lose my way.”
“Please bring me home.”
“And if my time comes to an end.”
“Please watch over my love.”

To be Continued…

Monday, June 18, 2018

Awake/Revival

“When did it all start?”
“This never-ending cycle of hate and despair.”
“We made a wish of innocence,”
“That was born from a dream.”
“And it was life’s cruel reality,”
“That turned it into a nightmare.”
“A cursed wish.”
Now I awake I ask myself,
“What should I now do?”
I was lost, trapped by a cursed dream.
A place between reality and sleep.
Yet still, everything is broken.
I’m still broken, but I’m still here.
I gave up, I let myself become lost.
The choices I made,
Was I myself then?
Still I’ve forgotten, I’ve lost a part of myself.
Yet I’m hoping, I’m wishing.
For a miracle, a light to guide me from despair,
To break myself free.
I’m sorry for nearly forgetting,
For almost not believing in your dream.
Can you forgive me?
The fire that lit inside me,
I’ll now use to fight free.
From the curse of this world,
From myself.
I’m still broken, but I’m still here.
No longer can my innocence return,
That time is now the past.
I was lost, trapped by a cursed dream.
A place between reality and sleep.
I gave up, I let myself become lost.
The choices I made,
Was I myself then?
I’m now awake,
Free from that cursed boundary,
That broken place.
My broken self.
I know now that it was my fault,
Because it was me who cursed my own wish.
And nearly destroyed yours.
It was my fault,
I was the one who nearly chose,
To destroy everything, I once loved.
“In a dream we lived,”
“Born from fairy tales,”
“A forgotten magic.”
“Yet was it wrong to dream?”
“Were we fools to trust those lies?”
Yet I’m hoping, I’m wishing.
For a miracle, for the old magic to return. 
Even if I’m fool, for you I’ll now make a wish.
For a light to guide us from despair,
To break myself free,
To protect your dream.
For you, for myself,
I vow, to you,
That I’ll believe, put hope into your dream.
Even if my heart becomes broken and frayed.
I protect all that we still have,
All that is still ours.
I shall the curse that was placed upon the world/us.
I will return innocence and dreams,
I shall fight for it all,
For tomorrow;

Would you listen...

“If I told you a story, would you listen?”
“If I spoke, would you listen?”
“If I stood in the same room as you, would you notice me?”
“If I was gone, would you miss me?”

I once dreamed of happy days, of what could be,
Of who I would be.
My innocence was a blessing,
My childhood self was free,
And magic was real.
When did it happen?
When did I break?
When did I lose my innocence?
Why did it happen?
I’ve forgotten, I’ve lost a part of myself.
Why?
What cause it to happen?
What turned my dreams into a curse?
What was it that took the freedom of childhood self?
I once dreamed of happy days, of what could be,
Of who I would be.
Of who you could be.
Was I wrong to ever dream, to wish,
To hope?
Why did it all turn into a nightmare?
Why does it never end?
Even within your/our world,
The cycle of lies and broken dreams,
Will come and shatter the dream.
My innocence was a blessing,
My childhood self was free,
And magic was real.
When did it happen?
When did I break?
When did I lose my innocence?
Why did it happen?
Why was our/my wish cursed?
It's burning, the boundary.
It's shattering, breaking.
As the fire of lies and life’s cruel fate,
Burn away everything.
I once dreamed of happy days, of what could be,
Of who I would be.
Of who you could be.
Were we wrong to ever dream, to wish,
To hope?
Once again, I dared to dream, to wish.
Hoping that the old magic could bring it all back.
How wrong I was.
Pain now surrounds us.
My childhood self is now bound by chains.
Was it my fault, was it our fault?
When did this all begin?
Why did it happen?
I once dreamed of happy days, of what could be,
Of who I would be.
My innocence was a blessing,
My childhood self was free,
And magic was real.
When did it happen?
When did I break?
When did I lose my innocence?
Why did it happen?
I’ve forgotten, I’ve lost a part of myself.
Why?
What cause it to happen?
Why do I now want to destroy it all?
Why did I?
Why…
“If I told you a story, would you listen?”
“If I spoke, would you listen?”
“If I stood in the same room as you, would you notice me?”
“If I was gone, would you miss me?”
“If I was gone, would you listen?”

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Boundary/Because...

Crashing through the boundary of dreams and reality.
A fire begins to burn within me.
As I drift within an abyss of twilight.
A time of pure dreams is no longer.
For the existence of innocence has been forgotten.
Between dreams and reality, everything begins to break and fall apart.
Why is there a reality?
Why are there such things as dreams?
Why did they both become a cursed existence?
As the boundary of dreams and reality crashes down.
I ask, “Why did I ever believe in fairy tales and lies?”
While drifting in a sea of twilight, my form begins to fall apart.
Like glass, like a fragile existence.
Cracks become fragments as fire burns all that remains.
There was once magic in dreams.
And innocence is what brought it to reality.
It has now become a curse.
For reality has polluted the world of dreams.
And now the boundary between them is forever broken.
Crashing through the boundary of dreams and reality.
A fire begins to burn within me.
As I drift within an abyss of twilight.
A time of pure dreams is no longer.
For the existence of innocence has been forgotten.
I ask, “Was it me?”
As everything, I fall and break apart.
I begin to drift into the abyss that is now my dreams and reality.
I can no longer remember.
I can no longer say.
“I’m here.”
For I can no longer be the one who protects your dream.
Your pure and innocent dream.
“Because it was me…”;

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

A Wish of Innocence

When did it all start?
This never-ending cycle of hate and despair.
We made a wish of innocence,
That was born from a dream.
And it was life’s cruel reality,
That turned it into a nightmare.
A cursed wish.
In a dream we lived,
Born from fairy tales,
A forgotten magic.
Yet was it wrong to dream?
Were we fools to trust those lies?
When did it all begin?
This never-ending cycle of lies and broken dreams.
Who was it, that made this cruel wish?
And turned our wish into a nightmare.
To protect your innocence,
I made a wish.
Yet now you forever dream the same dream,
Within a world of your own,
Until it comes crashing down,
Once again.
Forever repeating.
When did it all start?
This never-ending cycle of hate and despair.
When did it all begin?
This never-ending cycle of lies and broken dreams.
Whose dream become a curse upon the world?
Was it us?
Was it me?
Who caused all this pain.
Was it wrong to dream?
To put hope into the stories from our youth.
We made a wish of innocence,
That was born from a dream.
To protect your innocence,
I made a wish.
And forever more I shall,
Even if my heart becomes broken and frayed.
I’ll believe in your dream;

Friday, January 5, 2018

Phoenix

This is a new drawing I made using
the drawing tablet I got for Christmas.



Sunday, December 31, 2017

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2018

Happy New Year everyone!!
Hope you all have a wonderful new year
and many years to come!!!!

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Monday, November 6, 2017

World of Dreams

Into a dream, I wander,
As I watch the world go by.
I watch a forest of evergreen, turn white with snow.
The distant sounds of reality, become a lullaby.
That brings me into sleep.
Into night, from earth.
Dreams and memories dance in the sky.
Among the sea of stars.
Within the moonlight,
The white world comes to life.
A world that few see.
A place of fairy tales and dreams.
A place of cold unforgiving reality.
The distant sounds, the fading lights.
Forever pass by.
Never staying,
Never really leaving.
The evergreen forever watches as it sleeps.
It sees lights come and go.
Until it too must go.
Into a dream, I wonder,
As I watch the world go by.
A dream where a world of white, is my own.
As dreams and memories dance in the sky.
Among the sea of stars.
Within the moonlight,
The white world comes to life.
A world my own, till it becomes found.
Or fades away.
The distant sounds of reality, become a lullaby.
Until it comes crashing down.
The dream has come to an end.
Though the dreams still dance in the sky.
I cannot hear the sounds, only silence.
Within this world of cold reality.
The white becomes grey and red.
As I drift into dreamless sleep.
Until I can no longer see.
Into a dream, I wander,
As I watch the world.
I watch a forest of evergreen, turn white with snow.
The distant sounds of reality, are far away now.
Into night, from earth.
I have become a dream that dances in the sky.
Within a light that comes and goes.
As it dances among the sea of stars.
As the moonlight,
Beings life into the white world.
A world of dreams;

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Sleep in Twilight, Wake in Dawn

In silence, I lose a fragment of myself.
In your world, I can’t find myself.
Farewell to now,
Farewell to me.
From darkness I wake to see,
A sky full of lonely stars.
To you, to me.
Words we sent,
Yet never did they reach.
I’m lost, you’re lost.
Sleep in twilight,
Wake in dawn.
I find myself alone.
In silence, I find a fragment of myself.
In your world, is the me that you see.
Farewell to now.
Farewell to me.
Into a world of gentle darkness,
I descend.
To find dreams and broken reality.
Sleep in twilight.
Wake in dawn.
All alone.
For that is my world.
In silence, I wander, searching for myself.
In your world, you’ll only find a fragment of myself.
Farewell to now.
Farewell to me.
In darkness I stay to see,
A sky full of stars, ghosts of the past.
A world full of dreams and broken reality.
In twilight,
In dawn.
Is where you’ll find me.
I’m lost, you’re lost.
So you may find me one day.
In my world alone.

As a fragment in yours.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Fire End

Burning flames,
Become ash.
That floats upon the wind.
Like the leaves of autumn.
In the fire, I stand,
Alone and unafraid.
Like the ancient trees,
I become a memory,
Of the past,
A bed of seeds.
Within the sky,
The stars watch.
As everything burns,
The color of flames.
Change comes upon us,
As time passes by.
We now say farewell,
To yesterday.
To the me of the past.
Burning flames.
Glow a warm red,
As they turn all to grey and black.
I stand alone,
On the field of battle.
Fighting a war,
For the ones who are no longer able.
I continue to fight,
As all becomes like a dream.
Within the burning red,
I become a dream.
A story of the past,
That becomes a tale.
That is told to those of tomorrow,
The ones who live on.
Farewell is all I can say,
For I end is near.
Burning flames,
Become ash.
That floats upon the wind.
Like the leaves of autumn.
In the fire, I stand,
Alone and unafraid.
Of what is to come,
Is fate itself.
Within the burning flames,
The glow of warm red,
I become ash upon the wind.
That floats upon the wind,
Like the leaves of autumn,
My time,
This season of burning red.
Will come to an end.
Within the flames that beckon change,
That calls tomorrow to come;

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Don't Blame Yourself

Don’t blame yourself.
It was never your fault.
You’re not the one who started it.
It wasn’t our (/my) choice.
For there to be war.
It was our (/your) choice to fight.
For you is the only reason.
Never forget the memories,
Of the time we once shared.
Before the rust (/static) takes it away,
I’ll remember.
Don’t blame yourself/myself. 
It was never your fault.
You’re not the one who started it.
Was I?
How long ago was it?
When did it start?
Why did it start?
Its repeating, over and over again.
Don’t- b-blame yourself/myself.
It- it- was never your/our) fault.
You’re (/we’re) not the one(s) who started it.
It wasn’t our (/my) choice.
For there to be war.
It was our- our (/your) choice to fight.
(I never wanted to)
For you is the only reason.
(It was the only reason)
But now it is our (/my) war….
(I was always fighting a war)
When- when did it start?
Why us- (me/why y- you)
SYSTEM ERROR
Never for- for- forget the memories,
Of th- the time we once shared /had.
B- before_ the rust (/static) takes it away,
I’ll remember. /(It won’t stop repeating)
S- S- YSTEM ERROR! ERROR!
Wh- wh- where- did it- it- /you) go?
Our- … world/you (our d-dream)
D- don’t- b-blame ourselves…
I-it was, n- never… our faults…
WARNING!
W-we’re (/are we?) not the one(s) who st- st- st- started it.
It- it- it wasn’t our choice/
W- W- W- WAR-
For th- to be (a) war.
(Our war/my war)
__ was our ch- ch- choice to- to- fight …
Because-
SYSTEM CRASH, SYSTEM CRASH
........................................
SYSTEM REBOOT IN PROGRESS

For you were and always have been my reason
To continue to fight
To live
Till the even the end of the world
So goodbye, for now my-
SYSTEM REBOOT COMPLETE
..........
SHUTTING DOWN

Don’t blame yourself.
It was never our fault;