Witch Fire

Burn it all away,
Let it turn to ash.
This heart you broke,
My trust which you betrayed.
You don’t deserve my sympathy,
My once tender mercy.
For you’re the one who ignited the flame,
Don’t blame me,
For I was just the kindling.
You say you were under my spell,
To hide the love you had for me.
Love for a witch, an outcast.
Oh, how wonderful it all was,
The lie you gave me,
The beautiful days that are now gone.
All because of your shame,
Your hatred for unnatural things,
For who and what I am.
Burn it all away,
Let it turn to ash.
All the lies,
All those once tender words.
I hate it all,
Take it all away,
Everything we had.
For it all means nothing now,
Including you.
This day you ignited the flame,
I was just the kindling.
So don’t blame me,
For the fire that consumes everything.
All I needed to say was spell,
All I could have done was cast the magic.
But you don’t deserve my thoughts,
My tender mercy.
I hate you,
You hate me.
I don’t care anymore,
For you broke my heart.
Never betray a witch,
An unnatural creature.
Its all your fault,
Its all because of you.
Don’t try to smile,
Or speak those once tender words.
Burn in the flames,
Turn to ash,
Become nothing,
For your now the kindling,
A stain of red upon black.
Burn it all away,
Let it turn to ash.
Everything you are,
Everything we had,
Everything that was me;

Hey, are you still there?

Hey, are you still there?
How many times have I asked that?
How many repeating days have gone by?
How much will change?
Can you remember?
All those moments we’ve spent together.
I still can…
Every memory I recall,
Leaves me feeling warm,
But also so sad and lonely.
Because I know those days,
Your smile,
I will never see again someday.
Please, don’t leave me here alone.
Please, is there a reason?
Why this already broken heart of mine,
Continues to break.
All I wanted in the end was to be happy with everyone.
Please, stop this repeating tragedy.
Please someone, something, take it all away,
All this pain I have and feel.
I can’t hide it anymore,
I can’t let them be sad because of me.
Hey, are you still there?
I don’t want to be alone,
I don’t want you go.
Because, if I could spend the rest of my days with you- 
How many repeating days have gone by?
How much will change?
I’m afraid,
Yet curious,
Of change.
Please, don’t leave me here alone.
Please, is there a reason?
Why this already broken heart of mine,
Continues to break.
Can you remember?
All those moments we’ve spent together.
I still can…
Every memory I recall,
Leaves me feeling warm,
But also so sad and lonely.
Because I know those days,
Your smile,
I will never see again someday.
All I wanted in the end was to be happy with everyone.
Please, stop this repeating tragedy.
Please someone, something, take it all away,
All this pain I have and feel.
I’m not sure if I can fight it,
I’m not sure for how much longer I can,
Continue on for all of you.
Please, please, end these painful repeating days.
Please, I ask,
I pray, I wish,
For a future I can share with everyone.
Don’t let my light die,
Please don’t let my glass star heart break again.
Please, I beg,
I want only one thing.
Hey, are you still there?
Can you remember?
All those moments we’ve spent together.
I still can…
Every memory I recall,
Leaves me feeling warm,
But also so sad and lonely.
Because I know those days,
Your smile,
I may never see again someday.
Hey, are you still there?
Because I want to spend the rest of my days with you.
With everyone.
I want to be with you all;

"Please, live;"

“Please, don’t go.”
“Please don’t leave.”
“Because now is too soon.”
“Now is too painful.”
“For we’re- I’m not ready.”
“To say goodbye again so soon.”
“Please stay…”
As the days pass by, I find it too easy to forget.
To let everything become a distant thought.
Because my heart cannot take the pain,
Of the thoughts that hurt the most.
Because my mind would rather dream and wander,
Within the worlds of my creation.
To forget reality.
That is why, I’m not always with you.
Because reality often hurts me more than loneliness.
But if you were to leave, if you were-
Please, don’t go.
Please, don’t leave.
Because now is too soon.
Now is too painful.
For we’re- I’m not ready.
To say goodbye again so soon.
Please stay…
Please stay…
As the days pass by, I fight to be here.
To survive the pain in my heart.
To deny the monsters in my mind,
My other self, the shadow of myself,
Let me disappear, to let go my life.
But for them, so no parent will have to bury their child.
So the pain I feel, you will not have to feel.
Because I care, because I love.
I’ll continue to live
But if you were to leave, if you were to go.
I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself,
It would be harder to live.
Because my reasons,
The ones I care for.
Are my reason to live.
Please, don’t go.
Please, don’t leave.
Because now is too soon.
Now is too painful.
For we’re- I’m not ready.
To say goodbye again so soon.
Please stay…
Please stay…
Please I beg you,
Please for me,
For you.
Please continue to live
As the days pass by, I find it too easy to forget.
To let everything become a distant thought.
Because my heart cannot take the pain,
Because my mind would rather dream and wander,
Within the worlds of my creation.
Please forgive me,
For its hard to think,
Its hard to know,
That in an instant,
I can lose everything.
Please don’t go,
Please stay…
Please I beg you,
Please for me,
For you,
Please stay,
Please continue to live
Because without you,
How could I continue living in this lonely world?
Please, live;

No Matter...

“No matter what I say.”
“No matter how I word it.”
“No matter how I show it.”
“I see that you can’t see,”
“Even when I don’t hide it.”
“You can’t see that I’m not okay.”
On a summer day,
Your all smiling and happy.
I hear you laughing as I watch you all.
All while inside I’m screaming in pain.
I can’t explain it,
I can’t find a reason.
But I know I’m not alright,
And I feel like I’m less than nothing.
Worthless, miserable, broken,
A want to lock myself away from the world.
Its like I’m nothing but broken glass,
Shattered and put together again and again,
But always with pieces missing and cracks all over.
Why is it that no matter what I say?
No matter how I word it.
No matter how I show it.
I see that you can’t see,
Even when I don’t hide it.
You can’t see that I’m not okay.
Why can’t you see,
Why can’t you understand?
Though even as I want you here,
I want to be alone.
But please don’t leave me behind,
Even as I say to leave me be.
As I lock myself away,
I’m silently screaming for this all to stop,
Even as I’m silently begging for you to be here.
On a winter day,
Your all smiling and happy.
I hear you laughing as I watch you all play.
All while inside I’m falling apart.
I can’t explain it,
I can’t find a reason.
But I know I’m not alright,
And I feel like I’m less than nothing.
I still smile and laugh,
I still hold you tight and say, “I love you.”
But beneath all,
I’m the one who needs you.
I know I hide it all,
I know you can’t always see it,
That you may never truly understand.
I know I’m lying, but…
I’m fighting the monsters inside me,
That me I never wanted inside me,
The thing inside I never wanted to become.
I’m fighting for you,
But its hard.
Because every part of me is already broken,
Fragile like broken glass,
Shattered and put together again and again,
But always with pieces missing and cracks all over.
Though still no matter what I say.
No matter how I word it.
No matter how I show it.
I see that you can’t see,
Even when I don’t hide it.
You can’t see that I’m not okay.
Its not your fault though,
You’re not the reason.
Its me, its myself that’s to blame in the end.
I love you, even when I push you away.
I don’t hate you, even when my words are like knifes.
I’m crying for you, even when I lock myself away.
No matter what,
I want to be alright.
On a summer day,
I want to be happy with you.
On a winter day,
I want to be with you.
But no matter what I do,
I’m still not okay.
Though even now,
I hope you know that I still,
Love you all

Beautifully Broken, My Reason

“I vow to you,”
“That even as my heart becomes cracked and frayed,”
“I will no matter what,”
“Protect all that we have and the things we love.”
“To end this wretched curse that was placed upon us,”
“And end this story of ours our own way.”
“I’ll fight for it all,”
“All the things that make life worth living,”
“My own reason and your wish,”
“For the return of innocent dreams,”
“And to protect the ones who dream them.”
“I vow to you,”
“I promise with all I am,”
“That I’ll fight to protect it all,”
“To protect that tomorrow,”
“That beautifully broken future.”
I will still hope,
I will still live,
Were some of the words,
You once both shared.
In your dreams, your wishes,
I saw what it is, you both fought for.
Your reasons to live,
Which became mine.
Yet so jumbled within my mind,
I was left confused.
For I also saw the pain in your heart,
The flames that slowly burned away your broken pieces.
As you drifted into the abyss of twilight,
You were lost,
And I was lost.
As the silver blades cut us,
As the old magic left us.
I lost for at that moment,
One of my reason’s for living.
My memories of your kindness, your love,
That both of you shared,
The love you gave to me.
Were becoming merely memories,
As rage, as hatred filled my sight,
And made me become the thing you made me swear,
To never become.
To reset everything,
Nearly became something else,
Something worse.
Yet still, you both somehow found me,
And freed me from the cage I had locked myself in.
And I saw,
I felt those words.
I will still hope,
I will still live,
As a vow,
A promise.
Was the thing you left behind,
Along with a simple wish for me.
One I know vow to keep,
As I find my new reason to live.
In the night, I stand alone beneath the starlit sky.
With sword in hand,
And the old magic,
That makes my dreams reality.
In so short a time,
Everything changed.
When I both lost you,
And nearly became,
What I swore never to become.
So now,
I vow to you,
That even as my heart becomes cracked and frayed,
I will no matter what,
Protect all that we have and the things we love.
To end this wretched curse that was placed upon us,
And end this story of ours our own way.
I’ll fight for it all,”
All the things that make life worth living,
My own reason and your wish,
For the return of innocent dreams,
And to protect the ones who dream them.
I vow to you,
I promise with all I am,
That I’ll fight to protect it all,
To protect that tomorrow,
That beautifully broken future.

Reset

“Just who am I?”
“I still don’t know.”
“Yet you tell me,”
“That I am me.”
“Please explain to me,”
“What it is you mean.”
In this world I exist,
To serve your every need.
To be your sword and shield,
To be what you need me to be.
For that is why I exist.
I keep dreaming,
I keep seeing a life.
That does not exist,
That should not exist.
I’m broken aren’t I?
It must be time to reset.
It time to re-
Why do you say that?
That I’m not broken,
That I’m perfect the way I am.
Why do you keep telling me-
In this world I exist,
To serve your every need.
To be your sword and shield,
To be what you need me to be.
For that is why I exist.
Yet you treat me differently,
Strangely…
I don’t understand,
I can’t yet understand.
Yet I feel-
You try to explain,
You try to help me understand.
All the confusing thoughts,
All these… emotions.
Why do you say that?
That I’m not broken,
That I’m perfect the way I am.
Why do you keep telling me-
I now feel free,
I now feel like… me.
I feel what you feel,
I see the way you see,
I love you the same as you love me,
And I cry the way you cry.
In this world I existed,
To serve your every need.
To be your sword and shield,
To be what you need me to be.
For that is why I existed.
But for why now,
What reason,
Do I exist?
Who am I?
You say I’m prefect,
The way I am.
Yet, I still don’t understand.
I feel your pain,
I feel your love,
I feel your rage that you felt.
As the silver blades cut us,
As the old magic left us.
Your fingers became cold,
Your heart still,
My eyes full of tears.
Why?
I felt your pain, my pain.
I felt your love, my love.
I felt your rage that is now mine.
I cry, like you once cried.
In this world I once existed,
To serve your every need.
To be your sword and shield,
To be what you need me to be.
For that is why I existed.
You were why I am here.
That is now why,
"I’ll reset everything."

This is something new and interesting I just learned about today, it's such a beautiful word and one that I think strangely almost perfectly fits me. I love it though, what an awesome word and meaning!

Hiraeth is a Welsh concept of longing for home. 'Hiraeth' is a word which cannot be completely translated, meaning more than solely "missing something" or "missing home." It implies the meaning of missing a time, an era, or a person - including homesickness for what may not exist any longer. It is associated with the bittersweet memory of missing something or someone, while being grateful of that/ their existence. It can also be used to describe a longing for a homeland, potentially of your ancestors, where you may have never been.

What am I Supposed to Say

What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to do?
With the way the world looks at me,
With the way I’m left behind by the world,
Even by the people who surround me.
I know things change,
I see them change.
As I watched a sprout grow into a tree,
I watched as everyone around me grew.
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I broken?
But that’s what I am, I’m broken.
Is that why I feel so alone?
Don’t tell me that’s it my fault,
Even if it is, I’m trying alright
Because I want to breath,
I want to be whole.
You can’t see it but I’m drowning,
I’m gasping for breath in the sea of my emotions.
The emotions that fill and flood my broken form,
This glass star heart,
Its light is fading,
It still burns,
But it hurts, the tears hurt.
Even the silence.
What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to do?
With the way the world looks at me,
With the way I’m left behind by the world,
Even by the people who surround me.
I know everything changes,
I know the seed will grow into a flower.
I know even dust can become a star.
Why am I this way?
Am I mistake, an error,
Am I broken?
I’m broken, okay
I’m not alright.
I’m trying to tell you, alright
I’m trying
Because I want to breath,
I want to be whole.
This glass star heart,
Its light is fading,
It still burns,
But it hurts, the tears hurt.
Even the silence,
That is here because I couldn’t catch up,
Because I couldn’t speak loud enough.
Its hard to explain,
Its hard to describe what I want,
What I need,
The kind of bonds I need.
But please don’t give up on me.
I’m trying, alright
What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to do?
With the way you look at me,
With the way I’m left behind,
Even by the people who surround me.
I know things change,
I see them change.
As I watched a sprout grow into a tree,
I watched as everyone around me grew.
Don’t tell me that’s it my fault,
Even if it is, I’m trying alright
Because I want to breath,
I want to be whole.
You can’t see it but I’m drowning,
I’m gasping for breath in the sea of my emotions.
The emotions that fill and flood my broken form,
This glass star heart,
Its light is fading,
It still burns,
But it hurts, the tears hurt.
My voice hurts from crying,
My chest hurts from screaming the words,
Even from the words that are stuck inside.
Its hard to explain,
Its hard to describe what I want,
What I need,
The kind of bonds I need,
I hopefully wish for.
But please don’t give up on me
Because I don’t want to give up on you
I want to believe that like our spirits,
Bonds can be indomitable
Please don’t give up on me
This broken glass star that is me
The light is still burning
Like my hope
Like my wish
So please don’t give up on me
Because what am I supposed to say;

This Beautiful Broken World

In my little corner of the world,
This tiny fragment,
Lies the world of my imagination,
The reality I try to escape.
Its hard to say why,
All I really know is that I’m broken,
Somehow wrong.
By no fault,
For no reason,
I was born different.
How many times have I dreamed?
How many times have I wandered?
Those many worlds born from stories,
My own dreams,
My breaking heart of glass.
In my little corner of the world,
This tiny fragment,
Lies the world of my imagination.
A forest of books,
A place full of glass stars hung by red string,
That entangles me and leaves me wondering.
Why did I create this place?
This place that’s already fragile and broken.
This place where I created,
Where I dreamed.
Of desert ruins, of footprints on a distant shore.
Of everchanging worlds, of broken dreams,
Of rusted gears and distant stars,
Of burning flames and falling snow.
The stories of a wanderer, a dancer, a robot, a monster,
All the nameless faces that forever change,
The other me.
Of a broken self,
A broken heart.
That did not yet fully understand the world,
The words it heard and spoke,
The world it loved and soon hated.
In my little corner of the world,
This tiny fragment,
Lies the world of my imagination,
The reality I try to escape.
With the wings of a bird,
With kind hopeful words,
With fairy tale endings,
With stories ruined by reality.
I have tried so many times,
To let myself forget,
To numb the pain I was once blind too.
For long was I unconsciously, unknowingly,
Oblivious and blindly becoming,
Becoming someone else?
Or did I merely wake up,
From the dreams of a child.
The glass stars hung with red string,
The thread that entangles me,
The red color of fate.
Is it even real?
Yet I know my heart is glass,
A burning star,
That is so fragile.
So fragile that even my own thoughts,
My own cruel words.
My inner self, the monster in me,
Easily breaks and traps me.
In those thoughts,
Those emotions that slowly drown me,
That slowly try to snuff out my light.
In my little corner of the world,
This tiny fragment,
Lies the world of my imagination,
The reality I try to escape.
Its hard to say why.
All I really know is that I’m broken,
Somehow wrong.
By no fault,
For no reason,
I was born different.
To be strange,
To be unique.
A fragile being,
A scared child,
Afraid of change,
Yet a want for one.
How many years,
How long will it take?
How can it all change yet,
Also stay the same.
In my little corner of the world,
This tiny fragment,
Where my inner self,
Is still entangled by the thread,
That hold the glass stars,
The glass stars that are lit with my light,
The place I fight reality to keep.
This little corner of the world,
This tiny fragment,
I wish to see,
I wish to live in,
This beautiful broken world;

The Birds That Fly in Different Directions

“At the edge of this lonely place,”
“At this crossroads of twilight.”
“I still stay, I’m still here,”
“Waiting for the day,”
“Awaiting the moment, I can fly again;”
In this place, I awake in a daze.
Still between dreams and reality,
I’m close to falling asleep.
So close to the birds,
The birds that fly in different directions,
To the sky’s edge.
Everything has changed,
Everything will never truly stay the same.
It aches to watch,
It hurts to lose it all,
All those places full of stories,
Our stories.
It’s when I remember,
It’s when I think,
That I always go back there.
To the edge of this lonely place,
At this crossroads of twilight.
Where I can see that other place,
That place full of glass stars,
My heart made of glass stars.
I always come, 
The place where I still stay,
Waiting for the day,
Awaiting the moment, I can fly again.
Still between dreams and reality,
I’m close to falling asleep.
So close to the birds,
The birds that fly in different directions,
To the sky’s edge.
The birds that I can only watch from here.
Yet it’s always the stars I see first,
Its always the stars that remind me.
That life is a gift.
One that I know someday ends.
One thought I try to bury deep within.
Don’t remind me,
I already know.
I’m already caught in the tangled string of red,
That other me is still there.
At the edge of this lonely place,
At this crossroads of twilight.
So close to the birds,
The birds that fly in different directions,
To the sky’s edge,
To that place full of glass stars,
The place where you are.
I knew I could never follow you,
I knew my broken form,
These wings made of paper and dreams,
Wouldn’t be able to truly fly.
Though…
I still stay, I’m still here,
Waiting for the day,
Awaiting the moment, I can fly again.
Waiting again and again,
Hoping as I watch,
As I lose the places we once shared together,
As I lose myself to the escape of dreams.
To the place of my creation,
My sanctuary,
My cage,
My glass heart.
At the edge of this lonely place,
At this crossroads of twilight.
So close to the birds,
The birds that fly in different directions.
I still stay, I’m still here,
Till the moment I fly like a bird,
To the sky’s edge,
To that other place;
“I remain lost among a forest of books,”
“Entangled by red string,”
“As I hold and watch the flickering lights,”
“Held by glass stars,”
“I’m still here, I’m still here till…”
“Till someday;”

(Rewrite) When You Were Here, I Was Waiting

Note: A rewrite and combination of my old poems Waiting for You and You Were Here.

You were here once.
Right here beside me.
Always smiling,
Until-
I promised to be here, waiting for you.
A light in the darkness,
Even if I couldn’t be by your side.
As everything became black, as it all fell apart. 
Your wings shattered,
And turned into dust.
Was it all a dream?
Were you really here in the end?
Am I simply dreaming again?
I’m tangled in the threads,
Again, here but far away.
For you, I wanted to become a light that guides you home. 
Through the darkness and despair.
Through all the things that would hurt and block your way.
I wanted to be your light,
I still wish I could have been-
Forever alone, lost in thought,
In the dream-like memories of your smile.
When our worlds fell apart,
I lost you in the chaos,
And as it all turned black,
As everything became hazy and distant.
I thought for a moment, that was it you I saw?
You were here once.
Right here beside me.
Always smiling,
Until-
I promised to be here, waiting for you.
To be a light in the darkness,
Even if I couldn’t be by your side.
Even when-
I promised to be here, waiting for you.
A light in the darkness,
Even if I couldn’t be by your side.
In the dream-like memories of your smile.
When our worlds fell apart,
I lost you in the chaos and the pain.
I thought for a moment once, was it you I saw?
I’m tangled in the threads,
Again, here but far away.
For you, I wanted to become a light that guides you home. 
Through the darkness and despair.
I wanted to be your light,
I still wish I could have been-
Please for me,
Stand tall, you can cry, you can smile,
And I know you’ll find happiness once again.
Even if everything falls apart and fades into black,
Into an abyss of despair.
Don’t let me be the reason,
For everything that brings you pain.
As I wander among the ruins of our world.
Searching, hoping, longing,
That it could be you that right here beside me.
You were here once,
Right here beside me.
But I wasn’t for you,
I wasn’t meant to be-
I still pray that you’ll find your way home,
Through the darkness and despair.
Through all the things that would hurt and block your way.
I pray for you;

Set Me Free

“I’m scared, terrified,”
“It’s hard to breathe.”
“It’s hard to feel,”
“I’m scared,”
“I’m afraid I’ll never-”
“I’ll never be able to live;”
This heart of mine,
Feels like glass.
Reality, my curse.
Dreams, my escape.
I’m caught,
Tangled and lost,
Among the threads.
Within myself.
Please, tell me,
That this is all a dream.
The forget-me-nots,
Remind me,
The falling leaves,
Brings me back.
I’m stuck,
I’m lost.
I’m scared,
I’ll never be-
This heart of mine,
Feels like glass.
My body,
A cage.
Reality, my curse.
Dreams, my escape.
I don’t know,
Who I am any more.
Why?
I’m scared, terrified,
It’s hard to breath.
It’s hard to feel,
I’m scared,
I’m afraid I’ll never-
I’ll never be able to live;
Please someone,
Tell me it will be alright.
That I’ll find my way,
Out of this tangled mess,
That is my heart.
Please, tell me,
That this is all a dream.
The forget-me-nots,
Remind me,
The falling leaves,
Brings me back.
To what I wish to forget,
What I wish not to be.
Please,
Make it stop.
This pain in my chest,
This fear,
The want to disappear.
“I’m scared, terrified,”
“It’s hard to breathe.”
“It’s hard to feel,”
“I’m scared,”
“I’m afraid I’ll never live.”
“Please,”
“Set me free;”

Indomitable

“How many times have I thought?”
“Of what my one wish would be.”
“Will I ever though,”
“See what I wish for come true?”
“And will my dream, my spirit,”
“Be indomitable?”
I once the saw the world,
Through a child’s eyes.
Eyes that were filled with innocence,
With a heart made of glass stars.
That one day shattered,
And fell apart.
Though I think,
It may have always been that way.
Yet a light still shines,
And flowers bloom from the cracks.
Reminding me,
Of then and now.
Of the wishes and dreams,
I still hold onto.
My hope to fight despair,
My light to fight my darkness.
So the glass star that is my heart,
My spirit, will remain.
Will I ever though,
See the world I wish for?
To become the person I wish to be?
And will my wish, my dream,
Be indomitable?
I know I may fall,
I know my star may break again,
But I don’t- I’ll never let it die.
I once the saw the world,
Through a child’s eyes.
Eyes that now have seen,
And watched the world.
My checks are stained by tears,
While my heart cries.
For though I keep going,
I cannot help but wish for yesterday.
For dreams to be reality,
For the people who are gone,
To once again be here with me.
This broken heart made of glass stars,
Still shines as flowers bloom from the cracks.
Reminding me,
Of then and now,
Of how much has changed.
Of my one thought
“How many times have I thought?”
“Of what my one wish would be.”
“Yet I still don’t know,”
“Not sure of what it would be.”
“Will I ever though,”
“See what I wish for come true?”
“And will my dream, my spirit,”
“Will love,”
“Be indomitable?”
“For that is one thing,”
“I know I wish for”