Chapter Four: Spell of Intertwining

 “Tie me a knot of string, made with Holly and Ivy.”

“Give a gift of golden Wheat, with Basil and Thorn Apple.”

“The words of Freesia, the meaning of Edelweiss.”

“So silent, so quiet, so speak softly before them.”

“Before the lonely Yew, holding Cedar and Birch.”

“Wish well the spirits of Hawthorn.”

“Before you tie me a knot of string.”

“Made of Holly and Ivy, with Forget-me-nots.”

“For a spell, a wish to be forever intertwined.”

Tell me a story of ages past,

Speak to me a spell of Hawthorn and protection.

Sing to me, the voices of the forest.

The silent words of flowers,

Of the hidden spirits that walk among us.

In a field of golden Wheat,

Run, run, become the wind.

In the deep forests,

Sleep, sleep, become the earth.

A bed of Holly waits for you,

Beneath the Mistletoe.

Fire burns, fire takes,

Fire renews.

From the grey comes the green,

A new beginning.

So lonely I was,

Until you came.

From loneliness,

I learned to keep hold,

Of the fleeting moments,

That will someday be no more.

Avoid the Nightshade and Nettles,

The black Mulberry and Mandrake.

Follow the Great Maple, the Ivy,

The gentle Edelweiss and the Bitter Root.

In a field of golden Wheat,

Run, run, become the wind.

In the deep forests,

Sleep, sleep, become the earth.

A bed of Holly waits for you,

Beneath the Mistletoe.

Water flows and gives,

Its rage destroys,

Its calm gives life.

So cold is the white snow,

So tall the mountains are,

So close to the clouds above,

Yet so far.

Tell me a story of ages past,

Speak to me a spell of Hawthorn and protection.

Sing to me, the voices of the forest.

The silent words of flowers,

Of the hidden spirits that walk among us.

Don’t leave me,

Don’t go.

Let us be together forever,

Within the forgotten lands,

Among spirits of the past,

Intertwined together.

So lonely I was,

Until you came.

From loneliness,

I learned to keep hold,

Of the fleeting moments,

That will someday be no more.

Let us cast a spell,

To keep hold a while longer,

The time we have together.

So, tie me a knot of string, made with Holly and Ivy.

Give a gift of golden Wheat, with Basil and Thorn Apple.

The words of Freesia, the meaning of Edelweiss.

So silent, so quiet, so speak softly before them.

Before the lonely Yew, holding Cedar and Birch.

Wish well the spirits of Hawthorn.

Before you tie me a knot of string.

Made of Holly and Ivy, with Forget-me-nots.

For a spell, a wish to be forever intertwined.

Always, for eternity,

Even when apart.

Tell me a story of ages past,

Speak to me a spell of Hawthorn and protection.

Sing to me, the voices of the forest.

The silent words of flowers,

Of the hidden spirits that walk among us.

In a field of golden Wheat,

Run, run, become the wind.

In the deep forests,

Sleep, sleep, become the earth.

A bed of Holly waits for you,

Beneath the Mistletoe.

The wind blows,

So free, so gentle, so fierce.

The seeds scatter and spread,

Voices are caught in the wind.

Avoid the Nightshade and Nettles,

The black Mulberry and Mandrake.

Follow the Great Maple, the Ivy,

The gentle Edelweiss and the Bitter Root.

Don’t leave me,

Don’t go.

Let us be together forever,

Within the forgotten lands,

Among spirits of the past,

Intertwined together.

Tie me a knot of string, made with Holly and Ivy.

Give a gift of golden Wheat, with Basil and Thorn Apple.

The words of Freesia, the meaning of Edelweiss.

So silent, so quiet, so speak softly before them.

Before the lonely Yew, holding Cedar and Birch.

Wish well the spirits of Hawthorn.

Before you tie me a knot of string.

Made of Holly and Ivy, with Forget-me-nots.

For a spell, a wish to be forever intertwined.

Always, for eternity,

Even when apart.

Even as the world falls apart,

Even if all shall fade,

Tie me a knot of string,

For a spell to be forever intertwined.

To always be two that is one,

Hold me, hold me,

Don’t let go.

Don’t forget,

Don’t let go,

Tell me a story,

Tell me you love me;

To be Continued...

So Bitter Sweet

So cold is the loneliness,
So bitter and sweet is solitude,
So warm is the presence of another.
But what a fool I was,
For believing I could be brave.
What a fool I was.
A coward is all I am,
I can’t even speak the words I hold inside.
So broken they sound,
Till on paper,
And they become a symphony,
A silent song.
Always, always,
I find myself alone.
Always, always,
I beg for solitude.
It hurts, it hurts,
The burning flames.
It hurts, it hurts,
The stinging cold void.
What a fool I was,
For believing I could be brave.
What a fool I was.
So cold is the loneliness,
So bitter and sweet is solitude,
So warm is the presence of another.
Is it a lie?
A curse placed upon me.
For why, why,
Does it all hurt.
Yet I cannot speak the words,
The words to set me free.
For my voice is rusted,
My courage weak.
I can’t even speak the words I hold inside.
So broken they sound,
Till on paper,
And they become a symphony,
A silent song.
A plea,
A story,
A hope,
A simple word.
Always, always,
I can never speak out loud to you.
Always, always
I find myself alone.
Always, always,
I beg for solitude.
A cycle of pain,
That will never end.
A torment upon my fragile heart,
My already broken form.
So cold is the loneliness,
So bitter and sweet is solitude,
So warm is the presence of another.
But what a fool I was,
For believing I could be brave.
What a fool I was.
A coward is all I am,
I can’t even speak the words I hold inside.
It hurts, it hurts,
The burning flames.
It hurts, it hurts,
The stinging cold void.
All the bottled-up thoughts,
The countless undistorted words,
The screaming emotions.
It all hurts, it hurts,
All the things I can’t say,
All those moments together and alone.
What a fool I was,
For believing I could be brave.
What a fool I was.
A coward is all I am,
I can’t even speak the words I hold inside.
So broken they sound,
Till on paper,
And they become a symphony,
A silent song.
My cry,
My scream,
A plea,
A story,
My hope,
A simple word,
A complex thought,
My nameless emotions.
So many things,
Yet also none.
So lost, so lost,
Is my heart,
My broken form.
I cry, I cry,
Always for things I can’t describe,
Always for reasons I can’t speak.
So cold is the loneliness,
So bitter and sweet is solitude,
So warm is the presence of another.
Oh, how easily it can become reversed.
So bitter, so sweet,
So warm, so cold,
Is my time here.
Still what a fool I was,
For believing I could be brave.
For thinking I could change it,
For even hoping.
What a fool I was,
What a fool I still am,
A bittersweet fool;

Storyteller

Come and let me tell you a story,

A story about a kind yet lonely storyteller.

All alone she lived in the mountains,

Rarely leaving but always listening,

Always watching the world that lie below her.

Alone she spent her time weaving stories,

Creating worlds from her imagination.

Always lost in thought,

Always dreaming of another place.

Why she stayed though,

Was because she was a broken person.

All alone she lived in the mountains,

Rarely leaving out of fear of the world,

Yet she always longed to know more.

To see and hear the world,

To learn more stories,

To experience the things she had only dreamt about.

Alone she spent her time weaving stories,

Creating worlds from her imagination.

Letting herself become lost in the dreams,

To escape the world she both loved and hated.

Because its people were both so kind yet so cruel,

Because she was always alone in the end.

Let me tell you story,

A story with no happy or sad ending,

One still unfinished.

All alone she lived in the mountains,

Rarely leaving but always listening,

Always watching the world that lie below her.

Alone she spent her time weaving stories,

Creating worlds from her imagination.

Always lost in thought,

Always dreaming of another place.

For she was a broken and delicate soul,

Easily hurt, easily broken,

Always alone in the end.

Yet still full of wonder,

A still flawed and hurt,

But gentle soul.

Let me tell you a story,

To forget the pain,

To ignore the pain,

The sadness and hate.

To let everything go,

To escape for just a moment.

All alone she lived,

Always silently weaving stories.

Rarely leaving,

Yet always watching,

Always remembering.

She was a broken and delicate soul,

Easily hurt, easily broken,

Always alone in the end.

Rarely leaving out of fear of the world,

Yet always longing,

To experience the things she had only dreamt about.

Come and let me tell you a story,

A story about a kind yet lonely storyteller.

A story still unfished,

One that is neither simply happy or sad.

But instead, let us escape.

Go to another world,

Born from our imaginations,

Our dreams and wishes,

Our hopes and prayers.

There I want to stay,

There I find myself free.

All alone she lived,

Always silently weaving stories.

Rarely leaving,

Yet always watching,

Always remembering.

She was a broken and delicate soul,

Easily hurt, easily broken,

Always alone in the end.

Yet still full of wonder,

A still flawed and hurt,

But gentle, loving soul.

One who both loves and hates,

A lonely girl who continues to weave,

To create stories,

A world of her own,

While all alone,

In her painful sadness,

Her happy dreams;

"Please, live;"

“Please, don’t go.”
“Please don’t leave.”
“Because now is too soon.”
“Now is too painful.”
“For we’re- I’m not ready.”
“To say goodbye again so soon.”
“Please stay…”
As the days pass by, I find it too easy to forget.
To let everything become a distant thought.
Because my heart cannot take the pain,
Of the thoughts that hurt the most.
Because my mind would rather dream and wander,
Within the worlds of my creation.
To forget reality.
That is why, I’m not always with you.
Because reality often hurts me more than loneliness.
But if you were to leave, if you were-
Please, don’t go.
Please, don’t leave.
Because now is too soon.
Now is too painful.
For we’re- I’m not ready.
To say goodbye again so soon.
Please stay…
Please stay…
As the days pass by, I fight to be here.
To survive the pain in my heart.
To deny the monsters in my mind,
My other self, the shadow of myself,
Let me disappear, to let go my life.
But for them, so no parent will have to bury their child.
So the pain I feel, you will not have to feel.
Because I care, because I love.
I’ll continue to live
But if you were to leave, if you were to go.
I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself,
It would be harder to live.
Because my reasons,
The ones I care for.
Are my reason to live.
Please, don’t go.
Please, don’t leave.
Because now is too soon.
Now is too painful.
For we’re- I’m not ready.
To say goodbye again so soon.
Please stay…
Please stay…
Please I beg you,
Please for me,
For you.
Please continue to live
As the days pass by, I find it too easy to forget.
To let everything become a distant thought.
Because my heart cannot take the pain,
Because my mind would rather dream and wander,
Within the worlds of my creation.
Please forgive me,
For its hard to think,
Its hard to know,
That in an instant,
I can lose everything.
Please don’t go,
Please stay…
Please I beg you,
Please for me,
For you,
Please stay,
Please continue to live
Because without you,
How could I continue living in this lonely world?
Please, live;

Reset

“Just who am I?”
“I still don’t know.”
“Yet you tell me,”
“That I am me.”
“Please explain to me,”
“What it is you mean.”
In this world I exist,
To serve your every need.
To be your sword and shield,
To be what you need me to be.
For that is why I exist.
I keep dreaming,
I keep seeing a life.
That does not exist,
That should not exist.
I’m broken aren’t I?
It must be time to reset.
It time to re-
Why do you say that?
That I’m not broken,
That I’m perfect the way I am.
Why do you keep telling me-
In this world I exist,
To serve your every need.
To be your sword and shield,
To be what you need me to be.
For that is why I exist.
Yet you treat me differently,
Strangely…
I don’t understand,
I can’t yet understand.
Yet I feel-
You try to explain,
You try to help me understand.
All the confusing thoughts,
All these… emotions.
Why do you say that?
That I’m not broken,
That I’m perfect the way I am.
Why do you keep telling me-
I now feel free,
I now feel like… me.
I feel what you feel,
I see the way you see,
I love you the same as you love me,
And I cry the way you cry.
In this world I existed,
To serve your every need.
To be your sword and shield,
To be what you need me to be.
For that is why I existed.
But for why now,
What reason,
Do I exist?
Who am I?
You say I’m prefect,
The way I am.
Yet, I still don’t understand.
I feel your pain,
I feel your love,
I feel your rage that you felt.
As the silver blades cut us,
As the old magic left us.
Your fingers became cold,
Your heart still,
My eyes full of tears.
Why?
I felt your pain, my pain.
I felt your love, my love.
I felt your rage that is now mine.
I cry, like you once cried.
In this world I once existed,
To serve your every need.
To be your sword and shield,
To be what you need me to be.
For that is why I existed.
You were why I am here.
That is now why,
"I’ll reset everything."

What am I Supposed to Say

What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to do?
With the way the world looks at me,
With the way I’m left behind by the world,
Even by the people who surround me.
I know things change,
I see them change.
As I watched a sprout grow into a tree,
I watched as everyone around me grew.
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I broken?
But that’s what I am, I’m broken.
Is that why I feel so alone?
Don’t tell me that’s it my fault,
Even if it is, I’m trying alright
Because I want to breath,
I want to be whole.
You can’t see it but I’m drowning,
I’m gasping for breath in the sea of my emotions.
The emotions that fill and flood my broken form,
This glass star heart,
Its light is fading,
It still burns,
But it hurts, the tears hurt.
Even the silence.
What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to do?
With the way the world looks at me,
With the way I’m left behind by the world,
Even by the people who surround me.
I know everything changes,
I know the seed will grow into a flower.
I know even dust can become a star.
Why am I this way?
Am I mistake, an error,
Am I broken?
I’m broken, okay
I’m not alright.
I’m trying to tell you, alright
I’m trying
Because I want to breath,
I want to be whole.
This glass star heart,
Its light is fading,
It still burns,
But it hurts, the tears hurt.
Even the silence,
That is here because I couldn’t catch up,
Because I couldn’t speak loud enough.
Its hard to explain,
Its hard to describe what I want,
What I need,
The kind of bonds I need.
But please don’t give up on me.
I’m trying, alright
What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to do?
With the way you look at me,
With the way I’m left behind,
Even by the people who surround me.
I know things change,
I see them change.
As I watched a sprout grow into a tree,
I watched as everyone around me grew.
Don’t tell me that’s it my fault,
Even if it is, I’m trying alright
Because I want to breath,
I want to be whole.
You can’t see it but I’m drowning,
I’m gasping for breath in the sea of my emotions.
The emotions that fill and flood my broken form,
This glass star heart,
Its light is fading,
It still burns,
But it hurts, the tears hurt.
My voice hurts from crying,
My chest hurts from screaming the words,
Even from the words that are stuck inside.
Its hard to explain,
Its hard to describe what I want,
What I need,
The kind of bonds I need,
I hopefully wish for.
But please don’t give up on me
Because I don’t want to give up on you
I want to believe that like our spirits,
Bonds can be indomitable
Please don’t give up on me
This broken glass star that is me
The light is still burning
Like my hope
Like my wish
So please don’t give up on me
Because what am I supposed to say;