Stars Don't Glow, They Burn

Covered in scars, I’m asking why,
Where did it all go wrong?
Torn down, somehow still sane,
I’m fighting against pain,
But life must love my suffering.
Cursed to endure,
I want to burn it all down,
To piece this broken mind together,
But my screams have rusted away.
Numbing the pain away,
Is the only reason I still stand.
Cracked and broken,
Is what I am,
It's what no one wants.
Where did it all go wrong?
Was it your plan for me to fall?
Was this what you wanted?
Becoming a contradiction,
I’ve become my best enemy and worst friend.
Don’t ask me to endure for you,
You're not the one I want to fight for anymore.
I’m fighting back!
I won’t let you tear me down!
After all, the stars don’t glow, they burn.
Covered in scars,
Cursed to endure,
I’m fighting against pain,
But life must love my suffering.
Torn down, somehow still sane,
I’m asking why,
Where did it all go wrong?
Burn it all away!
I’m sick of being broken!
You're not the one I’m fighting for!
No more holding me down!
No more holding me back!
I’ll burn away the pain!
So, you can’t break me anymore!
Torn down, somehow still sane,
My screams have rusted away,
But my words still remain.
Don’t ask me to endure for you,
You're not the one I’m fighting for!
Was it your plan for me to fall?
Was this what you wanted?
Cracked and broken,
Is what I am,
It's what no one wants,
But it's what I’ve become.
It’s what I’ll embrace in defiance!
Cursed to endure,
I’m fighting against pain to live,
But I’ll burn it all away!
After all, the stars don’t glow, they burn,
And living is what I’ll do;

Chasing Memories

Memories fill my mind,
Emotions fill my heart,
As I wish for just a moment,
To be a child once more.
To hold your hands with those of a child,
To see the world through innocent eyes,
And be held in your arms once more.
Why can’t I, for a moment,
Halt the hands of time?
Why aren’t you here with me?
I’m still here,
I’m still here to live.
A broken heart,
A broken star of glass.
Even if everyone else goes,
I hope to endure the fire,
Even if everything is left broken and scarred,
Here I hope to stay,
Strong and brave for you,
Till I reach the end,
That final chapter.
Memories fill my mind,
Emotions fill my heart,
As I wish for just a moment,
To be a child once more.
To laugh with you as you lift me up,
And show me the joys of life.
I once thought,
I once wished,
That we would never have to say goodbye.
I once dreamed of a day,
When you would be the one to let me go,
When you two would dance together with me,
And see me grow.
Now I wander other worlds,
As I dream of what could have been,
As I dream to forget the pain.
Yet I know,
There is still so much to experience,
So much to see and hear,
I’m still here,
Here to live.
I can’t halt the hands of time,
So all I can do is watch seeds grow,
See metal rust and flowers bloom,
As stars shine and die,
And watch the world before me change,
Wishing that you were here.
Memories fill my mind,
Emotions fill my heart,
As I wish for just a moment,
To be a child once more.
To forget all the worries,
And simply let the days go by,
Smiling all the while.
Now I Long for a warmth I may never have,
A fragile wish.
Why can’t I, for a moment,
Halt the hands of time?
Why aren’t you here with me?
I’m still here,
I’m still here to live.
I close my tired eyes,
When tears threaten to drown the light,
When it all becomes too much to bear,
Because I am delicate patched glass.
Yet for you, I’ll endure it all,
The pain and grief,
I’ll be indomitable,
In spirit and heart.
I’m still to live.
And here I hope I stay,
Even if everyone else runs away.
Even as memories fill my mind,
Emotions fill my heart,
As I wish for just a moment,
To be a child once more.
To hold your hands with those of a child,
To see the world through innocent eyes,
And be held in your arms once more.
Why can’t I, for a moment,
Halt the hands of time?
Why aren’t you here with me?
To laugh with you as you lift me up,
And show me the joys of life.
To forget all the worries,
And simply let the days go by,
Smiling all the while,
With the heart of a child.
I’m still here,
A broken star of glass,
Chasing those memories,
Fighting to keep them close,
To never forget,
Till the final chapter,
When I can finally tell you,
I lived, and I never forgot,
Just how much you love me

Star of Glass

Among a forest of books,
I wander other worlds,
As I dream of things, both real and imaginary,
Within this overgrown, ruined place,
Beneath the eternal sky.
I am here, a broken heart,
A broken star of glass.
Silently weaving, quietly existing,
Till my words touch the pages,
And colors spill out from my stained fingers.
Forget-me-nots sprout from the cracks,
And bloom beneath a twilight sky,
A reminder of bittersweet thoughts,
Of fragile memories I hold within glass stars.
To forget the pain, the sorrow that lingers on,
I let myself become entangled by threads,
The waking dreams I create,
By the worlds I let myself fall into.
A flame flickers beneath my tear-stained face,
A small quiet voice quivers and struggles to speak.
Is that voice the past or present me?
Among a forest of books,
I wander other worlds,
As I dream of things, both real and imaginary,
Within this overgrown, ruined place,
Beneath an eternal twilight sky.
I remain alone,
Longing for a warmth I may never have,
A fragile wish.
I close my tired eyes,
I cut off from reality,
When tears threaten to drown the light,
When it all becomes too much to bear,
Because I am delicate patched glass.
Can you hear the words,
My rusted voice can’t speak aloud.
Among a forest of books,
I wander other worlds,
As I dream of things, both real and imaginary,
Within this overgrown, scarred, ruined place,
Beneath the eternal twilight sky.
I am here, a broken heart,
A broken star of glass.
Forever silently weaving, quietly existing,
Till my whispered words touch the charred pages,
And colors spill out from my stained fingers.
Forget-me-nots sprout from my cracked heart,
And bloom beneath a lonely sky,
A reminder of bittersweet thoughts,
Of fragile memories I hold within glass stars.
A flame flickers beneath my tear-stained face,
A small quiet voice quivers and struggles to sing.
Is that voice the past or present me?
Only ashes remain of the things that burned in the flames,
That brought this place to ruin twice more.
To forget the pain, the sorrow that lingers on,
I let myself become entangled by the thin red threads,
That hold and hang the glass stars above,
By my endless dreams.
I remain alone in this scarred place,
Longing for a fragile warmth I may never have.
Can you hear the words,
My rusted voice can’t speak aloud.
Among a forest of books,
I forever wander other worlds,
As I dream of things, both real and imaginary,
Within this overgrown, ruined place,
Beneath an eternal twilight sky.
Forget-me-nots bloom from my heart,
My rusted quiet voice hums a bittersweet melody,
The words are mere whispers,
Till they touch the charred pages,
And colors spill out from my stained fingers.
I am here, a broken heart,
A broken star of glass.
Silently weaving, quietly existing,
Till I return to stardust;

I Lived

I’m still here,
I’m still here to live.
Here I hope I stay,
Even if everyone else goes.
Here I hope to endure the fire,
Even if everything is left scarred.
I’m still here,
Until the end.
Through the pain and sorrow,
To the joys and laughs.
I’ve been to many places,
In stories of other worlds,
On the open roads.
Yet…
There is still so much to experience,
So much to see and hear.
I’m not at the end yet,
I’m not yet there.
But I’m still here,
Still here to live.
Here I hope I stay,
Even if everyone else runs away.
Here I hope to endure the fire,
Even if a flood comes crashing through,
To wash away the ashes.
Here I hope to stay,
To watch seeds grow.
I’m still here,
Until the end.
Through the pain and sorrow,
To the joys and laughs.
I’ve survived, I’m scarred,
Nearly broken but-
I’m still here to live,
To continue the story,
Yet…
I wish you could be there,
To see me shine brightly.
As I live my story,
As I reach the end.
For that single moment,
I wish you can hear me say,
“I lived.”

Hiraeth

I’m here,

I’m still here.

After the last chapter,

After I read the final words,

After the movie ends.

I feel bittersweet joy,

A longing I can’t explain.

In a world not mine own,

I saw things I never saw before,

I found new things,

I met people not real,

I experienced a life not mine own.

It was my escape,

It has been my escape,

It has been my wings,

It has set me free.

I’m here,

I’m still here.

Even after the chapters end,

Even after the goodbye,

I’m still here to live.

I have never touched the sky,

I have never fell in love,

Yet I have,

Yet I have touched the sky,

And fell in love within another world.

With the dreams, the stories,

That keep my broken heart together.

Tell me a story,

Show me a story,

Give me a story to tell.

For what else can I do,

For I’m here on the sidelines,

I can’t do what you do with my own hands,

But in my dreams, in another world,

I am free, I am a shining star in the sky.

Even after losing those I called friends,

Even after losing someone dear,

Family…

I’m here,

I’m still here.

After the last chapter,

After I read the final words,

After the movie ends.

Even after the stories end,

Even after the goodbye,

I’m still here to live.

To laugh and cry,

To feel joy and pain,

To dream and hope,

To hate and give up,

To win and lose,

To love and grieve,

To do it all again and again,

To write the chapters,

Of the story I’ll leave behind.

I’m here,

I’m still here.

Even as one story ends,

Even after your gone.

I’m still here to live,

Until the last chapter,

Until I close the book.

I’m here,

I’m still here.

After the last chapter,

After I read the final words,

After the movie ends.

I feel bittersweet joy,

A longing I can’t explain.

For things I can’t explain,

For something I can’t touch or sense,

For its there yet not.

It was here before you left,

Its still here now.

I’m still here,

To write the story,

To live…

I’m still here;

Glass Stars

Lost among a forest of books,
I find myself dreaming,
Of things both real and imaginary.
Illuminated by fragments of myself,
Glass stars are hung with red string,
Entangled by the thread I cannot move,
Or else the stars shall fall and break.
All I can do is dream,
As I wander lost in a forest of books.
Alight in my hands,
Is a dying candle.
The flame flickers,
Every moment I try to speak.
The still shining glass stars,
Held by red string that entangles me,
Though I stay still,
The threads yet still quiver.
“How”, I can’t tell,
For I can’t see past the forest,
I cannot question why with this voice,
Nor can I move or else the stars may break.
So now I begin to dream of the “reason why”,
Of why does the thread now quiver?
I become lost in those thoughts,
In that other world.
Till the light of the dying candle wakes me,
Its flickering warmth keeping me from speaking.
For every word may put out the flame,
And leave me without warmth.
Lost among a forest of books,
I find myself dreaming,
Of things both real and imaginary.
Illuminated by fragments of myself,
Glass stars are hung with red string,
Entangled by the thread I cannot move,
Or else the stars shall fall and break.
So, all I can do is keep dreaming,
Wondering what makes the thread quiver,
To why I still hold this fading warmth.
Is this warmth the “past?”
The “me” of another time?
Or the memories I’m slowly forgetting?
I want to know,
I want to find the answers.
Yet I’m afraid,
Afraid of losing myself,
The countless glass stars.
Held by red string,
That may lead me to the answers,
But may send me adrift in darkness.
So, I remain lost among a forest of books,
Entangled by red string,
As I hold and watch the flickering lights,
Held by glass stars,
Till someday;