Da-da-da-da/Are You Gonna Stay Or Leave?

Crack-snap,
Ra-ta-ta-tap,
Ra-ta-da-da-da,
Ta-ta-ta-da,
Under pressure,
I can’t tell if there’s gonna be an implosion or explosion.
Crack-snap,
Ta-da-da,
Da-da-da,
Tired of it all, I wanna break the system.
Just because I’m nice doesn’t mean I wanna be,
Ra-ta-da-da-da,
I’m sick of tolerating cr@#,
Tat-ta-ta-da,
I’m done with simply surviving!
Tat-ta-ta-tap,
Crack-snap break!
In my ruined, overgrown corner of reality,
I may be a contradiction,
But at least I can fight back.
Da-da-da,
Glass can cut,
And stars do more than glow.
Rat-ta-tap,
Ra-ta-da-da-da,
Da-da-da-da,
I’m burning,
Burning hot!
Crack-snap break!
Da-da-da-da,
Under pressure,
I can’t tell if there’s gonna be an implosion or explosion.
Ra-ta-da-da-da,
Out of the cracks surrounding my heart,
Forget-me-nots are sprouting from my chest.
Ra-ta-da-da,
Ra-ta-da-da,
Crack-snap,
Wanting to live,
I’m gonna burn in defiance!
Tat-ta-ta-da,
I’m sick and tired of the cr@# the world gives me.
Rat-ta-tap,
Ra-ta-da-da-da,
Cracked and broken,
Being me is what I am,
It's what no one wants,
But it's what I’ve become.
Crack-snap,
Rat-ta-tap,
Blame the world,
Ra-ta-da-da-da,
Da-da-ta-da-da,
Pop-shatter-break!
I’m continuing my story the way I want to!
Ra-ta-da-da,
Tired of it all, I’m gonna break the system.
Ra-ta-da-da,
I’m here to stay.
Da-da-ta-da,
Burning hot,
Ta-da-da,
Under pressure,
I’m not going to tell you if there’s gonna be an implosion or explosion.
Da-da-da-da,
Da-da-da-da,
So, are you gonna stay or leave?

Stars Don't Glow, They Burn

Covered in scars, I’m asking why,
Where did it all go wrong?
Torn down, somehow still sane,
I’m fighting against pain,
But life must love my suffering.
Cursed to endure,
I want to burn it all down,
To piece this broken mind together,
But my screams have rusted away.
Numbing the pain away,
Is the only reason I still stand.
Cracked and broken,
Is what I am,
It's what no one wants.
Where did it all go wrong?
Was it your plan for me to fall?
Was this what you wanted?
Becoming a contradiction,
I’ve become my best enemy and worst friend.
Don’t ask me to endure for you,
You're not the one I want to fight for anymore.
I’m fighting back!
I won’t let you tear me down!
After all, the stars don’t glow, they burn.
Covered in scars,
Cursed to endure,
I’m fighting against pain,
But life must love my suffering.
Torn down, somehow still sane,
I’m asking why,
Where did it all go wrong?
Burn it all away!
I’m sick of being broken!
You're not the one I’m fighting for!
No more holding me down!
No more holding me back!
I’ll burn away the pain!
So, you can’t break me anymore!
Torn down, somehow still sane,
My screams have rusted away,
But my words still remain.
Don’t ask me to endure for you,
You're not the one I’m fighting for!
Was it your plan for me to fall?
Was this what you wanted?
Cracked and broken,
Is what I am,
It's what no one wants,
But it's what I’ve become.
It’s what I’ll embrace in defiance!
Cursed to endure,
I’m fighting against pain to live,
But I’ll burn it all away!
After all, the stars don’t glow, they burn,
And living is what I’ll do;

Burn Like a Star

I can’t find words,
I can’t color the canvas,
When I try to untangle the mess inside.
All I know, all that I can understand in a way I can explain,
Is that I’m a star without a constellation,
Shining in its cradle, both yearning and afraid to shine in tandem with others.
Blessed and cursed with emotions of love and hate,
Trust and distrust,
So, I’ve become my best enemy and worst friend,
A contradiction.
Struggling to find words and colors,
To express what’s inside.
I want to burn like a star,
For just a moment, unafraid of hurting or being hurt.
Yet the world and I have caged myself,
Even while freeing myself,
Still a contradiction,
Fighting itself to live or die.
Am I strong?
Or am I weak?
For still being here,
I wonder if I’m sane,
In my understanding of what can’t fix this.
It makes me ask if I have a reason to live,
Or if my reason for living is hurting me,
Like a double-edged blade,
Is asking the question the same?
I can’t find words,
I can’t color the canvas,
When I try to untangle the mess inside.
All I know is that I’m a star without a constellation,
Shining in its cradle, both yearning and afraid to shine in tandem with others.
Am I a contradiction?
As I break and rebuild,
Again and again,
Is this strength, is this growth?
I’ve become my best enemy and worst friend,
A contradiction.
I want to burn like a star,
Unafraid to live,
Not fighting itself to live or die.
I wonder if I’m sane,
While struggling to find words and colors,
To express what’s inside,
Is this enough?
Can I burn like a star?

Move Forward

Move forward,
Ignore the pain,
The wish to disappear,
For them, you can’t stop.
Keep walking,
Don’t lose your balance.
Focus on standing tall,
You can’t fall down.
Like metal, you can’t bend,
Like stone, you have to endure.
Keep going,
Not for yourself but for them.
Don’t become the reason for their tears,
Remain for their sake,
To not break their hearts.
Move forward,
Like you’re expected.
Ignore the pain,
The wish to disappear,
For them, you can’t stop,
Even if there’s nothing left to keep you going.
Simply hide the pain,
The sorrow that weighs you down.
Keep walking,
Don’t lose your balance.
Focus on standing tall,
You can’t fall down.
Keep going,
Not for yourself but for them.
Move forward,
Like you’re expected.
Keep walking,
Don’t stop,
You can’t disappear.
Numb the pain,
Ignore the tears.
Move forward,
Remain for their sake,
For them, you can’t stop,
Even as you’re breaking apart.
Move forward,
Keep walking,
Don’t stop,
Keep going,
Move forward;

I Am a Witch

I am a witch,
Loved yet hated,
Fire is my domain,
My blessing and curse.
For though I give warmth,
I may burn all who touch me.
With this life, I swore to live,
But here I am alone,
Longing for a love I can never have.
Bitterness and joy,
Envy fills my heart,
When I see the life I wished to have,
The life I can never be given.
I am a witch,
Fire is my domain,
My voice is my spell,
A blessing and a curse,
For who would trust my words?
Who would dare listen?
I swore never to waste my days away,
But here I am, hidden away,
As sadness drowns my already broken heart.
My fire gifts warmth,
But I may burn all who touch me.
I am a witch,
Loved yet hated,
Cursed to be forever alone.
I give, I sing,
I scream, I pray,
I burn,
Till my bitterness and joy,
The envy and sadness,
Till it all becomes ash,
Till I, the witch,
Are no more,

Chasing Memories

Memories fill my mind,
Emotions fill my heart,
As I wish for just a moment,
To be a child once more.
To hold your hands with those of a child,
To see the world through innocent eyes,
And be held in your arms once more.
Why can’t I, for a moment,
Halt the hands of time?
Why aren’t you here with me?
I’m still here,
I’m still here to live.
A broken heart,
A broken star of glass.
Even if everyone else goes,
I hope to endure the fire,
Even if everything is left broken and scarred,
Here I hope to stay,
Strong and brave for you,
Till I reach the end,
That final chapter.
Memories fill my mind,
Emotions fill my heart,
As I wish for just a moment,
To be a child once more.
To laugh with you as you lift me up,
And show me the joys of life.
I once thought,
I once wished,
That we would never have to say goodbye.
I once dreamed of a day,
When you would be the one to let me go,
When you two would dance together with me,
And see me grow.
Now I wander other worlds,
As I dream of what could have been,
As I dream to forget the pain.
Yet I know,
There is still so much to experience,
So much to see and hear,
I’m still here,
Here to live.
I can’t halt the hands of time,
So all I can do is watch seeds grow,
See metal rust and flowers bloom,
As stars shine and die,
And watch the world before me change,
Wishing that you were here.
Memories fill my mind,
Emotions fill my heart,
As I wish for just a moment,
To be a child once more.
To forget all the worries,
And simply let the days go by,
Smiling all the while.
Now I Long for a warmth I may never have,
A fragile wish.
Why can’t I, for a moment,
Halt the hands of time?
Why aren’t you here with me?
I’m still here,
I’m still here to live.
I close my tired eyes,
When tears threaten to drown the light,
When it all becomes too much to bear,
Because I am delicate patched glass.
Yet for you, I’ll endure it all,
The pain and grief,
I’ll be indomitable,
In spirit and heart.
I’m still to live.
And here I hope I stay,
Even if everyone else runs away.
Even as memories fill my mind,
Emotions fill my heart,
As I wish for just a moment,
To be a child once more.
To hold your hands with those of a child,
To see the world through innocent eyes,
And be held in your arms once more.
Why can’t I, for a moment,
Halt the hands of time?
Why aren’t you here with me?
To laugh with you as you lift me up,
And show me the joys of life.
To forget all the worries,
And simply let the days go by,
Smiling all the while,
With the heart of a child.
I’m still here,
A broken star of glass,
Chasing those memories,
Fighting to keep them close,
To never forget,
Till the final chapter,
When I can finally tell you,
I lived, and I never forgot,
Just how much you love me

Fighting to Survive

Here I stand,
Here I exist,
Forgotten and ignored.
I’m here, burning from the inside out,
As my heart is freezing and splintering.
Fragmented, I’ve become numb to the pain,
To the emotions I should feel.
Yet the turmoil they create,
Weighs down my broken form.
Flames ignite,
Waves consume,
All while I watch from afar.
I’m fighting to survive,
The clawing shadow dragging me down,
Drowning me in suffocating thoughts.
I chain it up, keep it caged,
But nothing can hold it back forever,
Nothing can save me from it.
Apathy is my release,
Dreams are my escape.
Here I stand,
Here I exist,
Forgotten and ignored.
I feel as if I’m nothing,
An emotion nothing can dispel,
Not even those I love.
It’s a curse,
My emotions,
My empathy,
My very existence.
And if no one cares if I disappear,
I’ll curse them to bear my pain.
I’m tired,
Tired of everything.
I want to dream,
To escape,
Yet my reality keeps me here.
I’m here, burning from the inside out,
As my heart is freezing and splintering.
Fragmented, I’ve become numb to the pain,
To the emotions I should feel.
Yet the turmoil they create,
Continues to break my will.
I’m cursed to fight for my existence,
To battle the shadow dragging me down,
Drowning me in suffocating thoughts.
I chain it up, keep it caged,
But nothing can hold it back forever,
Nothing can save me from it.
Here I stand,
Here I exist,
Forgotten and ignored,
I’m fighting to live,
I scream,
Do I even exist?
I want to curse the world,
For bringing suffering where there should be none,
Let them bear my pain.
I want the flames to burn it all to ash,
For the waves to come crashing down,
And swallowed by crushing gravity in the void.
Fragmented, I don’t want to care,
I don’t want to feel anymore,
My will to live is waning.
Here I stand,
Here I exist,
I’m here,
I’m burning from the inside out,
As my heart is freezing and splintering.
Fragmented, I’ve become numb to the pain,
To the emotions I should feel.
Yet the turmoil they create,
Weighs down my broken form.
I’m fighting to survive,
The monster dragging me down,
Drowning me in suffocating thoughts.
I chain it up, keep it caged,
But nothing can hold it back forever,
No one can save me from it,
Not even myself.
Here I stand,
Here I exist,
Forgotten and ignored.
Flames ignite,
Waves consume,
All while I watch from afar,
In silent apathy,
I don’t want to feel any longer.
Here I stand,
Here I exist,
Forgotten and ignored.
I’m here, burning from the inside out,
As my heart is freezing and splintering.
Fragmented, I’ve become numb to the pain,
To the emotions I should feel.
Yet the turmoil they create,
Weighs down my broken form,
Breaking my will to live.
Here I stand,
Here I exist,
Forgotten and ignored,
I’m fighting to live,
I scream,
Do I even exist?
I want to curse the world,
Let them bear my pain.
I want the flames to burn it all to ash,
For the waves to come crashing down,
And swallowed by crushing gravity in the void.
I’m burning from the inside out,
As my heart is freezing and splintering.
I’ve become numb to the pain.
I’m fighting to live,
Battling the monster dragging me down,
Drowning me in suffocating thoughts.
I chain it up, keep it caged,
But nothing can hold it back forever,
Not the ones I love,
Not even myself.
Here I stand,
Here I exist,
I am here,
Forgotten and ignored,
I’m fighting to live;

So Bitter Sweet

So cold is the loneliness,
So bitter and sweet is solitude,
So warm is the presence of another.
But what a fool I was,
For believing I could be brave.
What a fool I was.
A coward is all I am,
I can’t even speak the words I hold inside.
So broken they sound,
Till on paper,
And they become a symphony,
A silent song.
Always, always,
I find myself alone.
Always, always,
I beg for solitude.
It hurts, it hurts,
The burning flames.
It hurts, it hurts,
The stinging cold void.
What a fool I was,
For believing I could be brave.
What a fool I was.
So cold is the loneliness,
So bitter and sweet is solitude,
So warm is the presence of another.
Is it a lie?
A curse placed upon me.
For why, why,
Does it all hurt.
Yet I cannot speak the words,
The words to set me free.
For my voice is rusted,
My courage weak.
I can’t even speak the words I hold inside.
So broken they sound,
Till on paper,
And they become a symphony,
A silent song.
A plea,
A story,
A hope,
A simple word.
Always, always,
I can never speak out loud to you.
Always, always
I find myself alone.
Always, always,
I beg for solitude.
A cycle of pain,
That will never end.
A torment upon my fragile heart,
My already broken form.
So cold is the loneliness,
So bitter and sweet is solitude,
So warm is the presence of another.
But what a fool I was,
For believing I could be brave.
What a fool I was.
A coward is all I am,
I can’t even speak the words I hold inside.
It hurts, it hurts,
The burning flames.
It hurts, it hurts,
The stinging cold void.
All the bottled-up thoughts,
The countless undistorted words,
The screaming emotions.
It all hurts, it hurts,
All the things I can’t say,
All those moments together and alone.
What a fool I was,
For believing I could be brave.
What a fool I was.
A coward is all I am,
I can’t even speak the words I hold inside.
So broken they sound,
Till on paper,
And they become a symphony,
A silent song.
My cry,
My scream,
A plea,
A story,
My hope,
A simple word,
A complex thought,
My nameless emotions.
So many things,
Yet also none.
So lost, so lost,
Is my heart,
My broken form.
I cry, I cry,
Always for things I can’t describe,
Always for reasons I can’t speak.
So cold is the loneliness,
So bitter and sweet is solitude,
So warm is the presence of another.
Oh, how easily it can become reversed.
So bitter, so sweet,
So warm, so cold,
Is my time here.
Still what a fool I was,
For believing I could be brave.
For thinking I could change it,
For even hoping.
What a fool I was,
What a fool I still am,
A bittersweet fool;

"Please, live;"

“Please, don’t go.”
“Please don’t leave.”
“Because now is too soon.”
“Now is too painful.”
“For we’re- I’m not ready.”
“To say goodbye again so soon.”
“Please stay…”
As the days pass by, I find it too easy to forget.
To let everything become a distant thought.
Because my heart cannot take the pain,
Of the thoughts that hurt the most.
Because my mind would rather dream and wander,
Within the worlds of my creation.
To forget reality.
That is why, I’m not always with you.
Because reality often hurts me more than loneliness.
But if you were to leave, if you were-
Please, don’t go.
Please, don’t leave.
Because now is too soon.
Now is too painful.
For we’re- I’m not ready.
To say goodbye again so soon.
Please stay…
Please stay…
As the days pass by, I fight to be here.
To survive the pain in my heart.
To deny the monsters in my mind,
My other self, the shadow of myself,
Let me disappear, to let go my life.
But for them, so no parent will have to bury their child.
So the pain I feel, you will not have to feel.
Because I care, because I love.
I’ll continue to live
But if you were to leave, if you were to go.
I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself,
It would be harder to live.
Because my reasons,
The ones I care for.
Are my reason to live.
Please, don’t go.
Please, don’t leave.
Because now is too soon.
Now is too painful.
For we’re- I’m not ready.
To say goodbye again so soon.
Please stay…
Please stay…
Please I beg you,
Please for me,
For you.
Please continue to live
As the days pass by, I find it too easy to forget.
To let everything become a distant thought.
Because my heart cannot take the pain,
Because my mind would rather dream and wander,
Within the worlds of my creation.
Please forgive me,
For its hard to think,
Its hard to know,
That in an instant,
I can lose everything.
Please don’t go,
Please stay…
Please I beg you,
Please for me,
For you,
Please stay,
Please continue to live
Because without you,
How could I continue living in this lonely world?
Please, live;

What am I Supposed to Say

What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to do?
With the way the world looks at me,
With the way I’m left behind by the world,
Even by the people who surround me.
I know things change,
I see them change.
As I watched a sprout grow into a tree,
I watched as everyone around me grew.
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I broken?
But that’s what I am, I’m broken.
Is that why I feel so alone?
Don’t tell me that’s it my fault,
Even if it is, I’m trying alright
Because I want to breath,
I want to be whole.
You can’t see it but I’m drowning,
I’m gasping for breath in the sea of my emotions.
The emotions that fill and flood my broken form,
This glass star heart,
Its light is fading,
It still burns,
But it hurts, the tears hurt.
Even the silence.
What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to do?
With the way the world looks at me,
With the way I’m left behind by the world,
Even by the people who surround me.
I know everything changes,
I know the seed will grow into a flower.
I know even dust can become a star.
Why am I this way?
Am I mistake, an error,
Am I broken?
I’m broken, okay
I’m not alright.
I’m trying to tell you, alright
I’m trying
Because I want to breath,
I want to be whole.
This glass star heart,
Its light is fading,
It still burns,
But it hurts, the tears hurt.
Even the silence,
That is here because I couldn’t catch up,
Because I couldn’t speak loud enough.
Its hard to explain,
Its hard to describe what I want,
What I need,
The kind of bonds I need.
But please don’t give up on me.
I’m trying, alright
What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to do?
With the way you look at me,
With the way I’m left behind,
Even by the people who surround me.
I know things change,
I see them change.
As I watched a sprout grow into a tree,
I watched as everyone around me grew.
Don’t tell me that’s it my fault,
Even if it is, I’m trying alright
Because I want to breath,
I want to be whole.
You can’t see it but I’m drowning,
I’m gasping for breath in the sea of my emotions.
The emotions that fill and flood my broken form,
This glass star heart,
Its light is fading,
It still burns,
But it hurts, the tears hurt.
My voice hurts from crying,
My chest hurts from screaming the words,
Even from the words that are stuck inside.
Its hard to explain,
Its hard to describe what I want,
What I need,
The kind of bonds I need,
I hopefully wish for.
But please don’t give up on me
Because I don’t want to give up on you
I want to believe that like our spirits,
Bonds can be indomitable
Please don’t give up on me
This broken glass star that is me
The light is still burning
Like my hope
Like my wish
So please don’t give up on me
Because what am I supposed to say;