I Will Not Fall

“How many mistakes have I made?”
“And just how many more will make?”
“Will I ever make up for them?”
Once everything was alright,
I was safe and happy.
Living within my world of childhood innocence.
Before you left, everything was alright.
After so long my heart still clung to that fairy tale,
That innocent dream.
As the thorns cut my skin,
As the shadows closed in.
I kept going,
I kept fighting.
Even as my mind and heart,
Started to break apart.
I know you didn’t want this life for me,
Neither did I wish for such a life.
Yet I am here,
And I’ll fight to be.
How many mistakes have I made?
And just how many more will make?
Will I ever make up for them?
Have I been living a lie?
Once everything was alright,
I was safe and happy.
Living within my world of childhood innocence.
Before you left, everything was alright.
After so long my heart still clung to that fairy tale,
That innocent dream.
The dream I still long for.
As the thorns cut my skin,
As the shadows close in.
I’ll still fight.
Even though my mind and heart are broken.
Those fairy tales who once told me,
Filled me with hope, with dreams of innocence.
Was I wrong to do so?
Was it wrong to even dream, to hope?
I still question myself.
I still ask why.
Yet I forgot why.
I know you never wanted this life for me.
I know you tried to keep me safe.
You told me everything would be alright.
How many mistakes have I made?
And just how many more will make?
Will I ever make up for them?
Will we ever make up for them?
Once everything was alright,
I was safe and happy.
Living within my world of childhood innocence.
Before you left, everything was alright.
After so long my heart still clings to that fairy tale,
That innocent dream.
Even as the thorns cut my skin,
Even as the shadows close in.
I’ll keep going.
I’ll keep fighting.
Even as my mind and heart,
Continue to break.
I will not fall,
I will live;

A World I Can Never-

“Who am I?”
Just how many times now have I asked that question.
How many times have I questioned myself,
The world around me?
Everything is almost like a dream,
A place that I can only be seen within a box made of glass and plastic.
How long has it been since I woke up from my childhood world?
For how long was I blind to the world and its cruel reality?
Inside me, in my shadow.
I feel another self that wishes to drown me in despair and hate.
To destroy my already fragile glass body,
To take away my light.
For how long has it been since I was truly innocent?
But was I ever?
After so long now of pretending to be strong, to be happy,
I can barely cry a single tear.
Is this heart of mine now growing cold?
Is my light beginning to die?
“Who am I?”
Just how many times now have I asked that question.
How many times have I questioned myself,
The world around me?
I’ve never had a path, a destination to reach.
And still I can’t answer that question.
How I see the world,
How it all appears almost like another world.
I know I’m different, that I’m not normal.
I know I don’t belong most anywhere.
For I’m not what people want me to be.
I’m not what I wanted to be.
I’m not-
Every part of me is screaming.
I feel as if I’m slowly falling apart,
And drowning within myself.
Its no one’s fault,
There’s no reason for why.
When it started I don’t know,
I don’t have an answer even for myself.
All I know is that I am broken and incomplete.
A being made of glass and dreams.
“Who am I?”
The question repeats like a broken record within my mind.
As everything around me builds and breaks my fragile being.
To escape I lose myself in fairy tales and stories of a fantasy.
Now it all seems to blend together.
The black and white become grey.
My light and darkness become twilight.
I feel as if I’m losing myself.
To what I’ve never known.
To reality?
To dreams?
“Who am I?”
Just how many times now have I asked that question.
How many times have I questioned myself,
The world around me?
Everything is almost like a dream,
A place that I can only be seen within a box made of glass and plastic.
A world I can never reach.
A world I can never-


Note: If anyone is wondering I'm doing just fine, it just feels good to write at times because its a good way to I guess to get out some things. Again I'm fine, just tried honestly mostly because of second Oct job at a haunted corn maze tends to drain my energy. So well hope ya all had a wonderful Halloween/day